Another friend who has made 80 years often responds to my musings with comments or stories of his own. I regard these responses as gifts, the kind of interaction that binds people together. Others of you have been regular respondents as well, giving me more gifts of little bits of your lives.
My friend suggested that the bi-monthly network About Aging has created could, on occasion, become a shared record of the “unusual or remarkable events in, or aspects of, family histories.” His idea is au courant with the popularity among PBS viewers of “Finding Your Roots” where famous people learn things about their families that surprise and amaze. And, the idea serves as a reminder to People of a Certain Age or any age that, if you delay in finding out family stories, you soon might never be able to find out.
For example, my sister and I heard Dad say on many occasions that, when he was chosen to play Jesus in a local version of a passion play, his life was changed forever. Obviously, we know he played the part. We never asked how it changed his life and why, and we will never know. The lesson is obvious but learned too late.
Sandee has been friends with a famous actress. Judy attended to Senator Strom Thurmond’s newest wife on the occasion of their visit to the UCR campus as the wife cooed from time to time, “isn’t he just grand?” A famous television actor sat in my office at Webb and asked me to tell him how to raise his son. Such are the kind of tidbits that add a little glitter to our otherwise normal lives.
My friend told me that his mom had tea (not by herself) with Benito Mussolini. His dad chatted regularly with President Woodrow Wilson at the Paris Peace Conference that produced the League of Nations.
His great-grandfather was an attorney who often did legal work for the Hawaiian monarchy, and to him fell the assignment of drafting the Abdication Statement for Queen Lilioukalani. Both Admiral Chester Nimitz and General Bull Halsey attended a cocktail party at Paul’s family home during World War Two. Another partygoer in those days became the Commanding Officer of the Blockade during the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Yet another friend in her 80s told me that her dad was instrumental in there being all those coconut palm trees at Ko Olina. Another time, she regaled Judy and me with stories about her relationship to the Ala Moana shopping center in general and a jewelry store-owner therein in particular. Fortunately for her kids and grandkids, she has written about some of the tidbits in her life, like the time she had lunch with Deng Xio Peng.
One of the many wild ideas I have yet to pursue came to me when I was visiting retirement communities to talk about, and then give away copies of, So Help Me God, my book about Presidents. During a Q and A session, the daughter of one of the residents at Plaza Pearl City noted, in an offhand way, that there were sitting in the room volumes of stories that would be great for the families of residents to know.
What a worthwhile project it would be for someone to sit with the elderly and record their stories and then offer the collection of stories to their families!
The woman’s comment reminded me of a time when Judy sent two Webb School seniors to Pilgrim Place, a community for retired ministers, missionaries and other who had spent their lives in full-time Christian service, to record stories for the students’ Senior Projects. The boys recorded stories that focused on the time the missionaries serving on mainland China had to flee the oncoming armies of Mao Tse Tung. The boys went with little enthusiasm. They came back to campus enthralled.
I don’t remember if we thought to share the stories the boys collected with the families of the missionaries. If we didn’t, we missed an opportunity.
Why does it matter that those stories are told? Maybe it doesn’t matter. My life was not greatly affected by a famous actor lamenting in my office. My friend’s brush with World War Two royalty gave him stories to tell but probably not much else. I am sure my friend has no proprietary feelings toward dozens of palm trees.
Yet sometimes it might matter that we take the time to inquire about what is in our own histories. At a minimum, it is possible that something we find out and share might elicit a heretofore-unknown connection to other people. More importantly, for those who want to understand their parents better, asking follow-up questions like why and how can be avenues to discovering what’s in our own history.
Many of us are avid readers of history. Not enough of us are record-keepers of history.
Anyone else care to share “unusual or remarkable events in, or aspects of, your family histories?”
Daniel E. White
June 10, 2019