About Aging
Depend on it! Barring tragedy or fatal illness, you will age into old age. What’s it like to get old?
Years ago, retired journalist Josephine Smith (Jo) wrote a column in the weekly Claremont Courier entitled “About Aging.” Jo would take any subject that struck her fancy and write about it from the perspective of one already past the Age of Retirement and moving toward Really Old.
Though in my 40s then, I found her musings entertaining and instructive. They revealed a point of view, one marked by time on the planet, one new to me. I think her column contributed to my comparatively calm embrace of the inevitable. I write in her honor.
Though our society benefits from the activities of many who count their ages in decades (Hawaii’s ex-Governor, for example, is in his eighth), we tend not to solicit the views of elders. Not a few older folks complain about retirement feeling like it is the onset of irrelevance in the minds of those younger. And the juniors often contribute to that feeling by dismissing as old-fashioned and outdated the views of their elders.
“About Aging” version 2015 seeks to be a voice from an age cohort that still often writes letters with pens and paper. They might or might not work in GoogleDocs or Drop Box. My voice is solitary but, I hope, perhaps, inclusive. I invite feedback by whatever means, including the social media, especially by letter or e-mail.
The voice will steer clear of partisan politics—there are enough voices in that realm already—and be, on occasion, curmudgeonly. The right to curmudgeon-ness is earned by the passage of time. But too much of it is tiresome; expect only small doses.
The voice will be affected by some of the gifts of advancing age: perspective, less concern about impressing others, perhaps even wisdom. Folks who share an age range seem also to share understanding that transcends gender or ethnicity, like knowing the “in” joke. Young folks might like to know that aging does not have to be a solitary activity.
My hope is that people my age (born 1947) and older will read “About Aging” and identify or relate and appreciate. I hope that younger readers will see the joy and possibilities still available for the taking even after one becomes Medicare-eligible.
A chance encounter with a nurse in her 30s underscored the potential value of “About Aging.” We were chatting about my mother, still in possession of a sound mind and contagious laugh at age 94.
“I don’t think I want to live past 85,” said the nurse. “Too many chances to be broken and not be able to get around.”
I was sitting in her exam room in the course of treatment for prostate cancer but I took no offense at her reference to being broken. Instead, I pointed out how much more likely her generation would be to live active lives into their 90s, given advances in medicine, nutrition, and understanding of the physiology of aging, etc.
“You should shoot for 95,” I said. I don’t think she was convinced.
Maybe reading “About Aging” would help her see her post-65 year old future in better terms. Maybe she would not read it at all, thinking it to be only about old people. Trying to have her see the wonders of life possible at every stage is a worthwhile effort.
Some people ease into years that really are golden. Others are dragged kicking and screaming into their 60s, 70s and beyond. That is not unique to the elderly, being dragged kicking and screaming through the ages and stages of life. My contemporaries regretted reaching 30 once upon a time. Few of us would choose to go back now.
Jo Smith lived into her 90s, writing her column until shortly before she died. Her friends turned some of her columns into a book. She was our village “auntie.” I can aspire to be a village “uncle” one day.
In the meantime, as we all age, we can use “About Aging” to talk story about what it’s like to grow old by looking at our world through the eyes of ones who have been around for a while.
Dan White
January 2015